WASHINGTON — In a rare show of bipartisan unity, Congress on Thursday passed the Freedom Act, which renames every future bill "The Freedom Act" so that lawmakers no longer have to come up with names for things they have not read.
"For decades, staffers have wasted thousands of hours inventing clever acronyms," said one senior committee member. "Now we can get straight to the part where we vote on a 4,000-page document we got 45 minutes ago."
Under the new law, a farm subsidy package, a defense budget and a bill regulating the size of mailbox flags will all be called the Freedom Act. Lawmakers say the change makes it easier to vote yes, since voting against something called the Freedom Act "looks bad on a mailer."
Critics noted that the bill itself, which was 1,900 pages long, contained provisions funding a bridge in a state that does not have a river, a study of whether pigeons can be trained to file taxes, and a pay raise for Congress.
"Look, nobody reads these things," said a House leadership aide. "That's not new. What's new is that now nobody has to pretend to know what they're called either."
Congress is expected to take up the Freedom Act next week, followed by the Freedom Act, and then, if time allows, the Freedom Act.