WASHINGTON — With just over a week until the midterm elections, a new national poll released Sunday shows Literally Anyone Else leading candidates from both parties by 14 points, a surge analysts are calling "historic, and frankly a little rude."
The poll found Literally Anyone Else ahead in 31 states, including several where it has not filed paperwork, held a rally or bought a single yard sign. Its strongest support came from voters who described themselves as "very tired," a group that now makes up 78% of the electorate.
"It has no voting record, no scandals, no podcast, and it has never once texted anyone at 11 p.m. asking for $5," said one pollster. "Voters find that incredibly refreshing."
Campaigns on both sides scrambled to respond. One released an attack ad accusing Literally Anyone Else of "having no plan," which tested so well with focus groups that the campaign's own candidate announced the next morning that they, too, had no plan.
Another strategist floated having their candidate legally change their name to Literally Anyone Else. "We ran the numbers," the strategist said. "It's either that or the candidate stops talking, and we already tried that for three weeks. It was our best stretch."
A spokesperson for the Literally Anyone Else campaign could not be reached for comment, which pushed its lead to 19 points.